Needed to think out loud hoping for a miracle

This morning or rather yesterday we were super down, the irony of it is we had no idea just how
bad things were we were concerned as to how we would yet again make it through another month is this tiny little room, as the bed is truly hard on my bones, the cold is beginning to make it so very difficult for both of us, but little did we know our biggest surprise was right at the end of the phone. I checked to see if Matt's pention had been deposited and much to both our shock and dismay discovered an awful lot of activity had been going on in our bank acct we both were so upset and certain someone we both admit we were sure it was someone it was not, it turned out to be this cash place that literally robs people who don't have the way or means of fighting them legally, the bank in Burlington Ontario had warned me that they were bad and tended to take advantage especially of people like my husband and myself, we both felt certain we had no more to fear as they had no rights to go near my husbands savings acct nor did they have the account number or permission to touch his pention, so imagine our shock not to mention millions of tears we both shed when we discovered it was infact them and this evidentally was not the first time, the lady I spoke with on the phone couldn't have been kinder she was so caring, I could hear and feel her sincerity she did manage to get us alittle money back, we won't be able to pay the rent on this little room now, I guess thats what we get for saying it was hard as the bed hurt so much, the other lady I spoke with told us if we went up to the bank we might be able to sucseed in retreiving the monies they had taken so ofcourse we did just that, it is difficult to go out and tend to matter like this with the weather so very brutal but we had little or no choice anyhow we managed to get there we signed this huge lengthy form, they acknoladged this place was horid for doing these things to people, also knew they didn't have any permission nor right to touch our bank account yet somehow they still managed, so it seems real strange to both of us that a company with their reputation somehow managed to go into an account without permission and take funds they were not allowed nor entitled to, yet the reality is they know full well neither of us is healthy and especially wealthy enough to go back to Alberta and argue this fact with them so I guess we just do the best we can try somehow to survive, Matt I know can take no more of this and nor can I, we both were so very exausted both mentally and physically when we got home last nite we just cried ourselves to sleep. I am supposed to get my check tomorrow sadly just last month I made the mistake of deciding to make it easier on the both of us by putting it direct deposit into Matt's savings account the irony of it is I told Matt I for some really wierd reason couldn't get rid of the feeling this was a bad thing to do, little did I know if they take it we literally will be on the streets of Montreal as we can't pay the rent and it is only 301.00 but it is awhole lot when you don't have it, oddly we were dissapointed at not being able to find a place with an oven now it looks like we will have no place at all, and we know longer own an automobile so that too is out. I must say as I did already my biggest regret is having ever reconnected with my cousin as since doing so my life has gone from bad to impossible had I not spoken with her we never would've come here in all liklihood we would now be living in Ontario which we know full well in itself is a huge improvement we would surely be able to watch whatever we chose on tv talk with people heck ironically we might even have had a real Christmas, once again I have my ever so wonderful cousin who reuinited or so she says with Jesus, well if indeed she did we shall soon see, for the heckof it just to see if anything had changed I called her much to my shock, as is usual she once again did not answer, nope her little friend who helps her most days did, saying how tired she was, you know the irony of this is women have been giving birth for centuries imagine if all suffered the things she apparently does I have a hunch women would instead decide to not have any, I replied when she said how she would call me back ya right I won't hold my breath, her little friend laughed for some reason so I assume she realized this was no surprise to me that as is normal she once again was to self absorbed to take a minute and speak with her cousin who she just couldn't wait to get to this city I hope she opens her eyes and God gives her a really good look at just how she is acting she sure wouldn't win any popularity contests the only things I know she concerns herself with anymore are if they will somehow benefit her and ofcourse her kids, they sure are good kids and I adore them I just pray Sammy doesn't wind up paying for his Mothers mistakes as he is young and doesnt understand why mommy just pays attention to the other two, Matt said he felt sorry for him when we were there once he saw it clearly and said trouble was brewing well it I guess is alot worse no, apparently the baby could really be harmed or hurt, I hope and pray nothing like that happens but this is like an accident waiting to happen, well I have succseeded in once again making myself so exausted I need to sleep for alittle then once again take up the new battle and God willing manage to retrieve our money so at least we can some how survive.