Tim gets ripped off by cmt again as usual

I just love this photo of this stunning couple, it is so becoming of the two of them however I decided to throw in a couple more, the one is of them on their way out of a hotel in New York when they were there to again be ripped off
by the awards ceremony which by the way I no longer even bother to watch, the last photo of this amazing couple if of the both of them together on stage doing a
performace during the amazing tour they just came off of, and incidentally are once again getting
ready to start up again, it is official the news was announced on Tim's site the fans are sure a wild bunch so looking forward to another superb summer to the thanks of the amazing talents of this wonderful human being and ofcourse his lovely wife.
However tonite I am really mad, oh that word doesn't even come close to doing justice to the bull shit cmt canada is trying to hand to Tim. They premiered his new video last weekend on the show The Chevy Top Twenty, okay we were pleased, some of us way more than others, but I must admit I listened hard and didn't hear any negativity at all surrounding his new video, infact it was much the opposite, everyone really seemed to enjoy it awhole lot, theres alot of shots from the tour so this was super cool for any of us who might not have been able to attend, I have heard some of the gals well one mostly saying how cmt us rips Tim off alot, well they sure did make up for it, his was the very first video played and it is deffinatelly getting its fair share of airplay down south, well it sure isn't like that up here, ya know my dearest friend called while I was asleep I am hoping she calls back so I can tell her how great her fav is doing, she is very fond to use a word I normally wouldn''t lmao, anyhow I am going to ask her if by chance she knew of any inside info perhaps Keith and Nicole are paying extra money to get him played so much, I am seriouslly po'd and to be completly honest if this was being done to another artist and Tim was getting all sorts of extra air play I would feel it unfair even though he is my favorite artist and I adore him, this is plain bull, I checked the playlist, they played Keith more than a dozen times, they never played Tim one single time not even his new video, then they put up two videos for us to vote on, normally I don't much bother with it,but this time I did have my computer on, there were no artists there period for anyone to vote on, so I ask this how the sam hell did Keith have 100percent and Tim zero when we had not even had the opportunity to vote, and they never allowed us until it was under the one minute point, oh and btw even with so small a time to vote, Tim needed less then a dozen, makes a person really wonder doesn't it,
now if I wasn't wondering enough over that, well tell me this how can they premiere a video last week, which we all know a new video is usually played several times, yet this week I saw it 2x's
all week long,and then surprising or then again is it really they deliberatelly leave it off the count
down this week, I know when they had the opportunity for us to vote the one day I voted, it sure didn't seem to matter much, but I have always had the utmost repect for Casey, perhaps I
have been wrong about him all this time, I know the other day I was watching Central, he was
telling us what most of us already knew, Stonewall Jackson, a real true Country Artist and a Legend for sure was suiing the Grand Ole Opry, you could literally have knocked me out of my
seat when I heard his ignorant words to Mr. Jackson, he told him hey someone needs to tell him its called the grand ole not old, how rude, ignorant and totally absurd for him to say such a thing, heck just this past summer I believe someone posted a copy of a petetion so we could sign it to save the excisting members as this fool idiot is trying to force these legends into retiring so we can instead look up to the new comers like Mr. Bentley etc.... it makes me sick to my stomach these artists made the Opry what it is today, are they really naive enough to believe that folks would travel all over from all parts of the world to come see some new member perform, oh I am sure they would be happy to see them providing they were being accomanied by an artist who is worthy of the title of legend, I hope and pray cmt see's the lite soon, as it sure is getting
mighty dim, I know I sure don't like it much anymore, well there really isn't too much more to add except Tim on behalf of these idiots up here in Canada, please accept our sincerest of appologies your new video is amazing and so very deserving of the number 1 slot, please remember we have a bunch of idiots working for cmt, I used to really be proud of them well the best we had left and went stateside to be married to one of the Lonestar members, she now has a beautiful baby and I wish her the utmost of happiness, again my appologies and I have no concerns as I know that with or without cmt canada your new video will be a huge hit just like you yourself, and them younguns only add to the enjoyment of it, take good care, have a terriffic
cruise and I look forward to seeing you this time your touring nearer to me I am not about to miss it again this year, God Bless You and Your Amazing Family, all the best to you in 2007!!
cya later, huge hug enclosed, love carolexo

Tim McGraw is one HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIE!!!!!!!

This photo was brought back special for moi from my sweetie and also known as "my personal brat"

however I am the only person who is allowed this as

you see I is special.......or so I like to think lol, anyhow she's a super sweetie and I kinda think she is aware of the way we feel about her, if'n she's not,

well she isn't a blonde so hmmmm I got no answer for ya'll on that one see she is a super smart lady runs her own business, is a wonderful Mom to two

extremely gorgous kids, also has a super fine hubby

oooops I betcha I done went and got meself in do do

oh well it surely won't be the first time, and I reckon it likely won't be the last either, anyhow I was literally falling asleep sitting here, however I got to looking for some of my "Timmy" photos and

sheesh ya do know I is a blonde, if in ya don't you must be really alittle or rather alot on the near sited

as I really did make a big ole goof and posted a sheesh load of those ever so cute blonde thingy's only meant to put it up onetime, when I posted it on

my other blog see I couldn't get into this one so as a

sort of other idear I went ahead and started me up a myspace, but that was going good for about

a second or two roflmbo, however, I got that to post, and as a matter of a fact it only is up there

onetime, however I can't get nothing else to post,it says on my you tube account I can put up all

my favorite Timmy videos so I thought oh wow super neat, but as you plainly see nope not a one, I even was being alittle inventive lol... the first video I ever did see of Tim's was his oh so hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, did I happen to mention I so did like it, I even fell off of the chair I was sitting in umm you see I had never before layed eyes on him, I had heard him sing, so I already liked him just fine, however after seeing that video, well the rest as they say is history, absolutely not a mystery lmbo, oh my I am oh so silly and its all good, ask me not

why as I haven't a clue, infact its odd to be honest, as Matt's in the background repeating over and over Carole are you awake? Well to be totally honest as is a habit of mine I am often almost

too honest so much so I get myself into more than one problem, but I wouldn't change me as I am proud of the fact that I know nobody ever doubts my word as they know dangwell they will

hear the truth, only time I have ever told a white one, was to not hurt someone's feelings, for i.e.

say someone who I care about asked me Carole does this make me look too fat........well my reply if it didn't flatter my friend would likely be I prefer the white, or black whichever one does

look the best but I would trully hope that someone would be nice enough to do the same for moi

and as is par for moi and no surprise to those who know me pretty well I have a bad habit of going off track, my initial intention was to make several folks super happy as I was going to post

some ever so fine photos of "My Precious Timmy" then I wanted to also add his new video in my personal oppinion it is amazing I am partial however this is a sure fired number one video, and I also believe many will finally get their wish, also as I know alot of folks were super dissapointed as was I, when Tim's lovely wife didn't get her hit single "Mississippi Girl" to go to

number 1, as some might not be aware, the dynamic duo of Big and Rich are also awesome writers and John wrote her hit, Kenny is the writer of Tim's newest single, not to take away from my favorite couple however Martina has a huge hit as well and it is also written by John

so perhaps they will finally get to the top spot, God above knows theysurely deserve it, anyhow I am going to see if there is anyway possible I can somehow get his video to post, originally when I started this blog it was just to get stuff off of my chest as I had no friends or for that matter familly to put it mildly that I could vent to about my many fears of our health which has been on a steady downhill trend, I wish there was someone I could talk with but even Matt refuses to

go there which ofcourse I do understand, as he too is afraid, he is nobody's fool, he see's the drastic change,he feels the pain, he also see's the huge difference in his abilities, he is no longer the strong person he once was so rather than posting a bunch of sad stuff and bawling my eyes out nite after nite, I instead am going to replace my special place into a trully special place, I will

from now on be posting only things that are positive, i.e. Tim, Faith, Keith, Toby, Martina, Johnny Cash, The Possum, The Hag, Tracy Lawrence, George Strait, Lori Morgan, Wy,and ,awhole lot more, many more, Conway Twitty was always a favorite of mine, and I did have a terriffic opportunity when I was a driver of a semi, as I did get to meet several of the greats, Tammy, Mickey Gilley oh his bus was a hoot, he wasn't on it however the tag where the name should be got my curiousity up to say the very least it said "Hide Your Daughters" okay now me being me, ofcourse I just had to know who it was, well I was quite young at the time, infact I was only about 19, I used to have really long hair, infact it was waydown below my butt,

so I did have alittle bit of an advantage, forgive me if it sounds as though I am bragging, but I did used to be an attractive young lady, I was a California kid, lol... blonde, tanned, infact if I had

been alittle bit wiser I could've been a model for Clairol, nope not kidding, one nite I was in a bar

a dear friend of mine at the time was working so I stopped into say hey, well this woman who I had never seen b4 was sitting there, she bought me quite a few drinks, I don't drink so I was only having club soda with lime, well she offered her card to me, I smiled politely so as not to be rude, and put it in my purse, well much to my utter shock, dismay and surprise, quite a few days later my buddy Bucky asked me if I had called her back, I didn't even realize who the heck he even was talking about so I asked him, oh how mad well nope mad is not the right word, he was furious, he said she had been in several nites in the hopes of seeing me and getting my reply

well this is getting long and Matt is mad so I am going to close for awhile, at least there is much

eye candy for any fans of my "Timmy" sorry I had every intention of also putting up a bunch of

Keith and also of him and his lovely wife, oh wasn't going to leave out Alan, George, Johnny, Vince, Brooks and Dunn to mention only a few, however I must go to the store, as Matt is really

sick, and if I don't get it in gear, he is threatening to go to the store in my pace, so I will sign off as my "Precious Matt" takes priority over everything even yuppers "My Timmy"but I am sure

you all knew that without me even saying it, he has a fever that is high enough to cook an egg on his head, so he is just foolish enough to get it in his thick skull to go, infact I had better get my butt of of here, as if he keeps on thinking on it he is sure as tootin gonna do just that, as much as I do love him, holy moly he sure can get my dander up, more often than not, I am going to close this with a super special photo, its awhile ago, but the memories are just like it was last nite, I do

so love my Matt, he tried so very hard to get me down, he cried harder than I did, I think he was just so heart broken, not only to have missed the show, however he figured he would carry me down, well his strength wouldn't allow it, so here are a couple from when we did have the nite of our lives, nope didn't see the show, however the memory of meeting this wonderful couple will be in our hearts forever and some, cya all alittle later, have a fantastic day all, many photos for all to love and enjoy my promise to my many friends whom I dearlylove with all of my heart and soul, huge hugs enclosed, and awhole lotta love too!!!! Carolexo

He's leaving today is the day the cruise sets sail

Th
The hug i especially for Tim, the photo right above

here speaks for itself wow the tan he has and will

have again upon his return, many a happy fans are

aboard this cruise, oh well one of these days no pun

intended, there is a nice butt shot, oh and ofcourse

the collage well.... whats a gal to do, at least I got my

photos to admire, perhaps I will get lucky and have

a dream that Matt and I somehow did manage to go

ya never know, I do know most dreams don't come

true, but heck I am willing to keep dreaming if there

is even the smallest of chances it may come true, I

also posted a photo of Tim and his lovely wife Faith

I won't post any of the girls just incase Iknow I never

gave this out to anyone but folks could somehow pop

on on accident, heck the day I posted the blog on my

dear late friend Sandy I got a google alert only to find

it was my own so mistakes easilly happen and I am

not going to break a promise to anyone least of all the

lovely Faith McGraw, well I just thought I would amuse

myself for a few minutes I had best be getting to the

bank as there are bills needing to be paid if I want to be

able to post here or anyhwhere so cya later and much love Tim I so hope you have the time of your life wish we

were going with you all, perhaps some other time, we do hope to see you this next year for sure

I have heard rumours that you are going to be continuing the tour you and Faith did last year I

am keeping everything humanly possible crossed that it is indeed true, God Bless, Much Love!

Needed to think out loud hoping for a miracle

This morning or rather yesterday we were super down, the irony of it is we had no idea just how
bad things were we were concerned as to how we would yet again make it through another month is this tiny little room, as the bed is truly hard on my bones, the cold is beginning to make it so very difficult for both of us, but little did we know our biggest surprise was right at the end of the phone. I checked to see if Matt's pention had been deposited and much to both our shock and dismay discovered an awful lot of activity had been going on in our bank acct we both were so upset and certain someone we both admit we were sure it was someone it was not, it turned out to be this cash place that literally robs people who don't have the way or means of fighting them legally, the bank in Burlington Ontario had warned me that they were bad and tended to take advantage especially of people like my husband and myself, we both felt certain we had no more to fear as they had no rights to go near my husbands savings acct nor did they have the account number or permission to touch his pention, so imagine our shock not to mention millions of tears we both shed when we discovered it was infact them and this evidentally was not the first time, the lady I spoke with on the phone couldn't have been kinder she was so caring, I could hear and feel her sincerity she did manage to get us alittle money back, we won't be able to pay the rent on this little room now, I guess thats what we get for saying it was hard as the bed hurt so much, the other lady I spoke with told us if we went up to the bank we might be able to sucseed in retreiving the monies they had taken so ofcourse we did just that, it is difficult to go out and tend to matter like this with the weather so very brutal but we had little or no choice anyhow we managed to get there we signed this huge lengthy form, they acknoladged this place was horid for doing these things to people, also knew they didn't have any permission nor right to touch our bank account yet somehow they still managed, so it seems real strange to both of us that a company with their reputation somehow managed to go into an account without permission and take funds they were not allowed nor entitled to, yet the reality is they know full well neither of us is healthy and especially wealthy enough to go back to Alberta and argue this fact with them so I guess we just do the best we can try somehow to survive, Matt I know can take no more of this and nor can I, we both were so very exausted both mentally and physically when we got home last nite we just cried ourselves to sleep. I am supposed to get my check tomorrow sadly just last month I made the mistake of deciding to make it easier on the both of us by putting it direct deposit into Matt's savings account the irony of it is I told Matt I for some really wierd reason couldn't get rid of the feeling this was a bad thing to do, little did I know if they take it we literally will be on the streets of Montreal as we can't pay the rent and it is only 301.00 but it is awhole lot when you don't have it, oddly we were dissapointed at not being able to find a place with an oven now it looks like we will have no place at all, and we know longer own an automobile so that too is out. I must say as I did already my biggest regret is having ever reconnected with my cousin as since doing so my life has gone from bad to impossible had I not spoken with her we never would've come here in all liklihood we would now be living in Ontario which we know full well in itself is a huge improvement we would surely be able to watch whatever we chose on tv talk with people heck ironically we might even have had a real Christmas, once again I have my ever so wonderful cousin who reuinited or so she says with Jesus, well if indeed she did we shall soon see, for the heckof it just to see if anything had changed I called her much to my shock, as is usual she once again did not answer, nope her little friend who helps her most days did, saying how tired she was, you know the irony of this is women have been giving birth for centuries imagine if all suffered the things she apparently does I have a hunch women would instead decide to not have any, I replied when she said how she would call me back ya right I won't hold my breath, her little friend laughed for some reason so I assume she realized this was no surprise to me that as is normal she once again was to self absorbed to take a minute and speak with her cousin who she just couldn't wait to get to this city I hope she opens her eyes and God gives her a really good look at just how she is acting she sure wouldn't win any popularity contests the only things I know she concerns herself with anymore are if they will somehow benefit her and ofcourse her kids, they sure are good kids and I adore them I just pray Sammy doesn't wind up paying for his Mothers mistakes as he is young and doesnt understand why mommy just pays attention to the other two, Matt said he felt sorry for him when we were there once he saw it clearly and said trouble was brewing well it I guess is alot worse no, apparently the baby could really be harmed or hurt, I hope and pray nothing like that happens but this is like an accident waiting to happen, well I have succseeded in once again making myself so exausted I need to sleep for alittle then once again take up the new battle and God willing manage to retrieve our money so at least we can some how survive.

This is a photo of me and my amazing husband I know everyone thinks their husband is the greatest mine really is, when we went through some rough times, lol gosh that sounds odd especially tonite, you see we just discovered someone somehow has been using our bank account, it was a mean and very cruel thing for anyone to do, as we live on one heck of a tight budget half the time we can't get through the month, when most people are wondering geee I wonder what to buy for so and so we are wondering gee what are we going to do as we haven't a clue as to how we can even pay the 300 dollars for the room we live in, it is a

deffinate possibility we will wind up homeless as a result of this, and my husband deserves a much better life then the one we are living, this man carried me up three flts of stairs he fed me

cooked, cleaned did all the things I used to do, then when I wasn't able he never even hesitated he just did it, he is ill, I know him better than anyone on this planet I have no clue what I would

ever do if he weren't in my life I refuse to think along those lines, and now this, we had a really rough month this one seemed alot longer for some reason, my cousin who's bright idea it was for us to come here, you know when she called me in Burlington Ontario, saying how terriffic Montrel had become you would think I would have known better it had never been a place of fond memories for me so what the heck allowed me to believe otherwise, when I first arrived I had a bad feeling immediately my bus arrived early so I was left to fend for myself and this body tends to hurt most days some worse than others, well I finally broke down and called her, she sounded all excited asking me where I was, I ofcourse said here at the bus station, my bus got in early it should've been a clue when she didn't even pretend she had hurried or put herself

out in the least, anyhow she finally arrived with two youngsters with her, they are neighbours good kids the boy went got my bags loaded them into her van and put the thingy I had rented back for me a real sweet youngster, I appologize as I have forgotten his name for the moment it is likely that because of all the crap we have gone through since arriving the irony of it is, she still seems to feel like we don't realize how amazing this wonderful place is, before my husbnd got here I spent most days and nites alone, I would watch tv my sweet Matt would phone always did enquire as to why was I again alone I always said well I suppose she is tired she is after all pregnant, now I suppose the excuse would sound something like I don't know why she never ever picks up the phone and calls to say gee how are you guys doing, are you both ok, is there anything perhaps that you might need, I know she had the baby, oh she didn't call, goodness no, her husband did, he is a kind man I have nothing but the utmost respect for him his name is Owen, and my heart really does go out to him as I now see alot clearer than I did before, my cousin actually told me she had her doubts about our cousin Peter, well how kind of her to decide on her own it was us to find out if he was legitimate, if he could be trusted, how oh so kind of her, I am not stupid nor is my husband she saw quickly she couldn't run him as she does most others who do hang around her most are always doing for her, I like her view on things its ironic how she really thinks she is faultless, my gosh she is so full of herself it is beyond sad, she I assure you will be one of the first to hear my voice as I am going to take my wonderful husband over to her house tomorrow and let her know just how very helpfull she really has been that thanks to her, we both in all liklihood will loose this little room she talked us into renting, it is small but it is indoors, we don't have alot but God knows we sure did need our checks, we found 0ut tonite someone is using our account and has been all this month it could only be one person I hope this makes her happy to finally know for sure whether or not she can trust her cousin Peter, I can tell you this much if I can ever get us somehow into a proper home with a real bed to sleep on, perhaps even a tub to bathe in instead of the shower we are using and its a battle each and everytime, Oh I am so mad right now, Matt could in all liklihood have already been treated in Ontario, but my cousin Sam knows best so ofcourse as I was so sure she really loved me as she said she did, I like a fool brought my husband the love of my life to this living hell, he has gone hungry many days and nites, he is so very tired, his counts are very low, and I know if I say or rather when I tell her how I feel her response will be it is Matt's fault as he doesn't accept Christ as his saviour, well I do and always have and the God I believe in would never approve of her deceitful ways, using God for her own needs and justifications is crap, just as is anything she has ever said to me, example I was on the phone with her ofcourse I called her, she wanted to go back to the hospital she had the kids by herself and was finding it too hard to deal with, my husband again tried to help her, I phoned her and asked her for a foodbank, she insisted help was everywhere here, funny we couldn't even find a loaf of bread, nothing the woman she told Matt about did call back if we can wait till January by golly they just might give us a helping hand isn't that the sweetest, if you haven't noticed I am real angry as I am typing this, man am I ever, I really beleived her, since we moved into where in her words I would have an amazing support system our phone has wrung a total of perhaps 5 times if that, you see she did used to phone b4 she had her baby on Sunday and offer a ride to church, she made a point of saying how very exspensive it had been for her to drive me all over when I first got here,so even though I had already gave her money for gas bought all the lunches oh and at her asking also paid for the outfit she wanted for church, she was a clever con but a con is just what she was she knows just what to say, how lonely I am, so she got her money she needed and her clothes also her baby items, and now she just doesn't need me, I asked her for a loan, odd she had nevr before hesitated she did this time does she perhaps know what is up with my bank card, I pray I am only even thinking this because of just how exausted I really am, surely even she wouldn't be involved in such a scheme, I always paid her back, and generally alittle extra so I find this odd, she knew how bad we needed help we called several times, God if you hear me please I need a gigantic miracle a vehicle so we can have comfort and our baby enough cash for gas, and he very best dr ever to please fix my Matt I love him so much, I am going to go and rest and its aftr 1am here I am determined to contact the bank first thing in the am and God willing get our money back, this is beyond cruel, we have so very little why would someone do this to someone with nothing to take to do it at all is dispicable but we will be on the street with nothing except bad health to go along with it, pure cruelty I will find who did this and they are going to pay for just how mean they were, well another wonderful nite in this heck of a town has passed God please help us, we need you now more than ever, love you Jesus!

Sunday Morning and Afternoon have come down

Well its now Sunday, I slept the best

part of Saturday away, my amazing husband somehow found the strength

to do some laundry, he also while I was up, redid the bed or whatever it is we are sleeping on, the ironic thing is I just noticed I am typing right beside this beautiful special friends label the irony is I have received this in the mail many many times, but isn't it funny I sure could use a friend right about now but anyone of them, oops thats right I almost forgot myself it is mostly my fault,,the bestones are either passed away as is the case with Sandy and Sharon, two gals I really thought the world and all of, totally different in every which way especially their demise, Sharon well she pretty much did it to herself, she got involved in a very unhealthy relationship, then just couldn't handle it so she overdosed herself and took her life, for that I will never forgive her, then there is sweet Sandy many people were

angry with her I was reminded of this only yesterday in an email, at first I was so mad, how dare anyone say anything mean about her,but then I calmed down and thought what she said through and I knew for a fact she was just telling the truth, she rarely heard from her, only when she needed a ride or money it was that way with her but not always, and for me for myself I choose to remember the good times ya know Tim sang a song its called Please Remember Me, in all her life she worked so very hard, not having the slightest inkling of the impact her death would have on the world, and it is indeed the world, every newspaper from underground rock to the LA Times carried it, she was even on CNN why was it that it took her loosing her life to be the story there are many other things she did before anyonelse but it seems as though the entire world chose to ignore how she played the hell out of the drums, she water skiiid like nobody's business she loved animals, oh her heart sure was big and in the most part it was always in the right place but too many times she opted for the wrong choices thus why some are not remembering her in the same way as I choose to her memorial is December 9th, I still can hear my amazing husbands initial words when we first heard he knew how terribly heartbroken I was,so ever the problem solver he assured me we would indeed be there, I knew in my heart all along we wouldn't be but I instead chose to believe the impossible, just like I chose to actually fantasize that somehow we would again have the chance to see Tim and Faith, they were so very kind and caring, even the nite we accidentally called his sister Tracey in the late hours she was so kind, I even received an email shortly after saying that if we needed anything to please let her know, what would you do if you were me, would you be able to pick up a paper and a pen and write to a sweet woman whom you have never actually even met and ask this person if there is any hope that perhaps her brother and sister-in-law might consider helping this couple that they met once in Calgary, oh sometimes it seems almost possible then I regain some sense of reality and can't seem to bring myself to ask, some people who know just how much I admire them seem to almost think me stupid for not asking for help God knows we sure do need it, butjust whom am I suppossed to ask, and also how do I go about it, there is nothing we don't need we have a room at present that we sleep in, the bed hurts my bones so badly that most nights I awake in tears or real close, I am beginning to believe this is normal, then on some fluke I will either stay awake and see something on tv orelse I will manage somehow to get outside which I haven't done in a very longtime, this past month I have been out of this house, once to go to the store and get alittle bit of air, then I went to Church last Sunday nite, it was so terriffic and gratifying to be able to sing His praise, I really needed that and was so happy that I talked my cousin into going, she usually is all happy to go but here lately she doesn't want to I feel really hurt and for lack of a better word used, she told me this was the place to come, here it would all be better, we would have real friends a place to live,she neglected however to mention we would only hear from her on the rarest of occassions I callled her last week as we didn't have a loaf of bread in the house, or milk nothing, Matt asked her for the number for the food bank, oh I couldn't believe it she gave him a number knowing full well they were done taking food hampers and to add insult to injury weren't even helping with food, this has been the biggest nitmare of our lives, I will go to my grave never forgiving her for lying to me about everything she convinced me this place was the best for cancer treatment not true, infact complete opposite the oncologists are going on strike heck her church is so far I am not even able to attend, at times though I wonder if she isn't doing that on purpose to make it impossible for us to actually make some new friends she knows like her I too have a past but thats just what it is, the past and I will say onething in my past their were very few times I ever found myself short for cash ever, always just went to the nearest bank machine, many people benefitted from my cash, they

all say the samething what goes around comes around if this is true well I oughta win a lotto and it should happen before this Chritmas infact it should've happened this past week as their were many people I took in, fed, clothed, you name it, if they had homes it was nothing for me to pay a months rent to help to get them on their feet, man where the heck are they all today this is driving me crazy I look at Matt I know how misserable he is, as am I, and theres little to nothing I am even able to do about it, well I am shocked to say this as usually I am freezing in this dump but not this time I am about to roast as its so small the computer is right next to the heat vent but even with the window it is way too hot, Matt must not know it got alittle bit warmer outside, well I am done for now, this is just me being mad as usual, in my life I always had said I never left anything in Montreal what the hell was I thinking ever coming back here as this is surely hell it is even worse then some of those hell holes I was in as a kid at least then I had a tv to watch this really is the shits and capitilize the s, Tim and Faith are beautiful people, perhaps they would consider hiring 2 sick people ya right!?!

Hi, well its finally Friday and for a nice change after an unusually rough day I am feeling awhole
lot better, I just added to of my favorite photos, the one is "Timmy" he is standing right beside
the street named for him by his hometown,which he is very involved in,this man is really amazing not just because as we all know the obvious, he is oh so easy on the eyes, also he is ever
so easy to look at I sure have never had a problem in this field, anyhow the other I threw in just for compassion it is of Tim taken at his special hideaway in the Bahamas, if you look at it you will see he is doing one of his favorite past times, he is about to take his jet ski out for a spin, oh I as
usual got off track, his hometown is so proud of him, he has been amazing he has never ever turned his back on anyone we were always impressed by his music, ofcourse his looks didn't hurt him anyhow it is also I do really feel a sort of special compassion for him,he found out about Tug at age 11 I was to be adopted only to be thrown into a nite mare at age 13, also I love his wife she is so sweet, when we met her we were so surprised, we knew we would meet Tim, but never thought we would have the pleasure of meeting this sweet down to earth "Mississippi Girl" and that is just what she is, ok now I am going to have a much needed sleep, I have alot to say as far as Tim goes and ofcourse my life, who knows maybe one of these days to quote a wonderful man, I might actually get the nerve up and somehow publish a book,as I really have exsperienced many things God has some kind of plan for me, I do so wish he would let me in on it, have a terriffic sleep I hope I do, nitey nite!!