"My Angel on Earth"

I have always loved this, I am feeling really down tonite, I can't help
it I watch my amazing husband and all the while he sleeps, I know I should be skeeping with him, in all honesty I don't know what is even
keeping me awake, I am just scared if I take my eyes off him he will
stop breathing, I know how much he loves me, he fought hard, he said
he wasn't going to leave us and he didn't God I love him so much, I am so worried, as the church says if he isn't baptised and doesn't accept Jesus as his lord and saviour I will never see him again, I have always been a positive person,I actually took a chance and opened up alittle on a public msg board I bawled my eyes out reading the answers but only one was mean, they basically said I should take a bunch of pills, how mean,the sad part is I have thought of it I am ashamed to say but then my belief in God and also my love of my husband and knowing he would be so lost without me as I will without him the drs said I should be resting heck just how do I do that I am so 'tired this is the worse of the worse, wow thankfully nobody knows about my release place except me, it has to stay this way, I will hopefully be able to someday soon show my husband as I know I am not helping him at all being this worried and getting so little sleep as I will surely have another stroke or heartattack and he needs me my back really cannnot do this so for it I am g0ing to go run the water as heart as I can, I am hoping I can manage to feel well enough to fix us something to eat, even if it is just a box of kraft dinner I am
s0 hoping that soon my sweet "Angel without wings" Kate calls, if she feels my vibes I know she should be calling soon, I would so love to hear from her but then it wouldn't be fair to her either
she knows we are not too good wow that a different way to look at this joke of a life we are no
longer really living all we do is go day to day its like living but waiting for it all to end, How morbid my life has become, please forgive me honey I adore you so!!! God how I love you if my love for you and your love for me could heal us I have know doubt that we would both be well!!